February 24, 2015 by 250 Beers
In the second of my sporadic, non-regular DIY posts (the first of which can be found here) I’m going to show you how simple it is to set yourself on your way to being a fully fledged hipster…or, as some people call it, an utter wanker.
Maybe I’m getting old but when I first spied a photo of somebody sipping beer out of a Mason jar I did one of those comedy double takes followed by a hearty ‘It’ll never catch on’ guffaw. Seeing it first hand with my own eyes made me cringe with a shudder and it continues to make me do so.
Alas, it has caught on – no doubt thanks to those Americans – and here’s how you can be one of the
dickheads cool kids…
The very first step involves hunger not thirst. You need to be hungry. Why? Because you’re going to need an empty jar. Ransack your cupboards or pantry and cook a nice meal for you and your partner that requires a jar of something. My lucky wife got served a tasty spaghetti bolognese the night I planned this – not because I’m a hero of a husband but because I had my eye on the Dolmio ‘glassware’.
Once you’ve put a smile on your partner’s face you’ll need to remove the outer label and any sticky glue remnants as well as disposing of the remaining sauce or contents from the jar. For the purpose of this exercise I rinsed my jar – or new beer glass – in warm soapy water, rinsed with cool water and allowed it to dry naturally. In fact, it was the same cleansing ritual as any other cup or glass in my house.
Now, this third step is not compulsory. It involves engraving your new vessel with your brand or logo. The only reason I embraced this is because a) I have a logo and b) I happen to possess a (cheap) engraving tool that allowed me to do it. I spent no longer than 15 minutes ‘perfecting’ my new 250beers.com hipster jar with a magnifying glass and by jove doesn’t it look the bees knees? Ha!
The fourth and final step is compulsory – you need a beer to compliment your new glass. If you completed the third step and inhaled all of the glass dust like I did then you’ll definitely need a beer.
I chose a dark beer (Bridge Road Brewer’s celebratory 11.2% imperial stout One Thousand) for no other reason than I wanted the darkness to really set off my engraving skills. I feared that a lighter coloured beer may not have made as big an impact.
So, there you have it. Sip away to your hipster-heart’s content. No need to thank me.
Why not give it a try yourself? Eat, wash, dry, drink! You could easily put yourself firmly on the path of becoming a first class beer wanker.
I wonder what will be the next hipster beer fad? Maybe drinking something cool out of a vase or perhaps a shoe or straight from a retro-looking teapot?
Give me strength.
Sadly, I’ll never drink another beer from a jar – including the one above. This was my first and last. The thing is…I can’t bring myself to dispose of it. If anybody is keen and wants it, email me or leave a comment below.