April 15, 2013 by 250 Beers
There’s something weird going on…
I’ve lived at my present address for five years now. Mrs 250 Beers and I are more than happy with our location. It serves us well as it’s located halfway between the glorious beaches of the Sunshine Coast and the big smoke (ahem) of Brisbane. 250 Beers Towers has even witnessed the arrival of two mini-250 Beers. Happy days.
Every working day of those five years (except for annual leave and a few deadly strains of man-flu) I’ve entrusted Queensland Rail to drag my arse to and from the City of Brisbane. I pay them quite handsomely for the privilege of riding the 40-year-old trains or ‘tins on tracks’ as I call them. Not so happy days.
During those five years I have never ever fallen asleep on the return leg of the journey…the trip home. That was until a few weeks ago.
It was Saturday 23rd March and I was heading back from the Noisy Minor Shout – a pub crawl around Brisbane sampling the wonderful delights of Noisy Minor’s first eight beers spread across four venues. It was a superb day that saw my unique beer tally grow by a staggering 12 different beers. You can read all about the day here.
I recall walking from the last of the four venues, Archive in West End, to Central station and getting on a train. The next thing I knew was that a great big security bloke was tapping me on the shoulder to wake me up. It was the end of the line. I was in Caboolture.
Those of you that know (or at least know of) Caboolture may have heard it called Crap-boolture or even Ca-POO-lture. I took this photo a few years ago in Morayfield (part of Cabooltureshire before the formation of Moreton Bay Regional Shire):
The caption should read ‘where lifestyle really counts’ but some witty local amended it accordingly. Anyway, Caboolture isn’t the place I like to be in the middle of the day let alone after dark. I wandered around the station for some time before I found somebody that was coherent enough to talk English. He was the first person that I’d come across that was fully clothed too. He told me that the train that I’d just got off was about to return back and head south. It was the last train. I trudged back and boarded it. It baffles me why the hell the security bloke couldn’t have suggested that I sit tight for a train ride back in the right direction.
A few weeks went by and the same bastard thing happened again. Remember, this hadn’t happened in five whole years!
A colleague of mine, John, handed in his resignation recently. Friday 5th April was his last day in the office and we celebrated the fact that he was leaving by having a few beers. That doesn’t quite sound right does it? Not the ‘beers’ bit, but the ‘celebrated’ bit. I guess we were saying goodbye rather than cheering the fact that he was leaving.
We started off his farewell at lunchtime that day at the Spring Hill Hotel for no other real reason than the food is pretty good. It’s a place where you can’t be too fussy with beers though. The selection is quite varied but there isn’t much by way of craft beer. The proof of that is my Untappd check-in’s for the afternoon. They included Monteith’s Golden Lager, James Squire Pilsner, Tiger, White Rabbit Dark Ale and White Rabbit White Ale.
After a belly-full of beer and an amazing plate of pie, chips and gravy, the all-male rabble headed for the Platform Bar at Grand Central Hotel.
Johns leaving date coincided with the Platform having not only one limited release beer on tap but two. I know! Weird, right?! Nice timing Johnny!
Those of the group that decided not to go home at a sensible time, had two options. First option would be to play it safe in the Platform Bar with beers such as 4 Pines Kolsch or any of the Lion Nathan permanent fixtures – Kosciuszko and most of the Squire’s range. The alternative was to make the most of the two rarities which were Little Creatures latest single batch release, Shepherd’s Delight (which I’d tried from a bottle only days before and looooved it) or Mash Collective’s newest invention, Aureus Chrysalis.
Obviously, I chose the latter.
Now, back to the matter in hand. During both of these beery events over the past few weeks, I ensured that my intake of water was high in between beers. It was abnormally high in fact. Possibly higher than usual. At the age of 36, I’m finally realising the benefits of drinking H2O throughout a beer session. Not only does it cleanse ones palate enabling happier and hoppier tastes to shine through, but it assists in hangover reduction too because your body isn’t as dehydrated the following morning.
Now, here’s my revelation…
The reason that I’ve fallen asleep on the train home twice lately is because of the water. I told you something weird was going on. There must have been something in the water! Surely it can’t be anything to do with the 13 beers I’d had with the Noisy Minor crew? Surely it can’t be attributed to the 12 beers that I’d consumed with my mate John? No, it has to be the water. Right?
Bemused at this potential scandal, I contacted SEQ Water to ask if there had been any contamination in the mains water supply to Brisbane on the dates in question.
Guess what? They didn’t get back to me. I smell a huge corporate cover-up here.
If you’re going to be out drinking in Brisbane my advice is to drink bottled water in between beers. You don’t want to end up at the end of the line in Caboolture do you? I guess it could be worse. You might live on the south side of Brisbane and end up in Ipswich or Rosewood.